In the previous post "How to solve relationship problems", I mentioned the three principles to relationship mastery based on my own personal experience. In this post I am going to elaborate on each one. If you have not read the previous post yet, I strongly suggest that you read it before reading this one.
Three Principles to Relationship Mastery
1. You must know or learn how to take care of yourself and feel comfortable and happy with yourself no matter if you are alone or in a relationship.
Having confirmation from another party may boost your confidence and make you feel significant and loved, but it can never last unless you have confidence in yourself.
If you are in a relationship right now, such confidence means that you are confident that you can take care of yourself without any external help, and you can feel happy and comfortable even when your partner is not around, or is not giving you confirmations.
If you are not in a personal relationship, such confidence means that you understand you do not need a personal relationship to feel happy and whole. This way, if you do get into a relationship naturally, it can add more joy to your life.
2. You must not have any expectations of how your partner should behave. This includes expectations of what your partner should say to or do for you.
Expectations like above, if any, always creates an arbitrary measure against your partner. In other words, such expectations make you judgmental. The level can vary, but in general, to have any expectations of how other people should behave around you in life automatically brings emotional problems.
Expectations are like tainted glasses that distort the reality. Of course, sometimes it can distort it in a way that you feel intoxicated with love and connection. However, any intoxication, either positive or negative, is a deviation from the balance. Such deviation from the center means the universal force will eventually shift it to the other way, because your emotional state always reverts back to the mean (center).
3. You must remember the universal rule that whatever you sow, you shall reap; whatever your give, you shall receive.
If you want to have significance, love and connection, make others around you feel significant, loved and connected. A typical toxic mindset some people have is that because I am not receiving any respect, love, or connection from my partner, or others, I am not going to give any either. This always leads the downward spiral of loss of love and connection in any relationship once it starts.
The more you give, the more you will receive. It may not be instantaneous, but it is the way that everything works in the universe. You cannot expect a seed to turn into flowers and fruits the next day. You cannot expect to build a great body with a one-time visit to the gym. It always takes time. But, if you give every day, plant the seeds and nurture them every day, the universe will always have the flowers and fruits waiting for you sooner or later.
Live life with these principles. It does not matter whether you are currently in a personal relationship or not, or whether your personal relationship is in a good state or not, you can always achieve relationship mastery. Relationship mastery is a byproduct of self-mastery of the physical, emotional, and spiritual realm.
Scott
May 21, 2019
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